Stone Deaf
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 12, 2004
I have been married a dozen years, but my marriage has been purely platonic for the last four. We are good friends, nothing more.
Recently I contacted a pen pal I've been writing since the age of 13. The two of us lost contact 16 years ago, but back then we had very strong feelings, and you could say we were in love. He lived in the USA, I in Holland, and we would talk every day on the phone.
When we spoke for the first time in 15 years, it was amazing! It was as if time stood still. We took up right where we ended off. We never met, but I am still completely and utterly in love with this man. I ring him every day.
He is an honorable man and does not encourage me knowing I am married. But I cannot help myself. When I married, I knew my husband and I did not have what my pen pal and I had and still have. Except for my children, I would leave everything I have for this man. He is the only man in the world I desire.
This morning my pen pal told me, even if I divorced, he would still see me as a married woman. His motto on marriage is "Once a Freemason, always a Freemason" and "Thou shalt not steal another man's wife." I want my pen pal, yet he wants me to stay in this dead marriage.
Merika
Merika, we often get letters from people who are unhappy in their marriage. The letters usually begin with reasons the writer is unhappy with their spouse, then one or three or five paragraphs later they mention someone new in their life.
There are always two questions in these letters, and the two questions are separate from each other. The first question is, should I stay in this marriage? That question has nothing to do with the second question, should I become involved with this new person?
The problem with mixing the two questions is that when we are unhappy, almost anyone else seems desirable. It is a case of "any port in a storm." Even someone unsuitable may seem desirable.
Are you unhappy enough with the lack of genuine love in your marriage that you would end it? That is the first question, and it has nothing to do with your pen pal.
Your pen pal has answered the second question for you,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. He said no. You don't wish to accept his answer, but that is reality. If you no longer wish to be married to your husband, that is another reality. You can deal with two realities, but you cannot deal with one reality and one unreality.
Wayne & Tamara
Red-handed
A friend of mine and I began having sex a few months ago,It just did not feel right. This was pretty stupid because he was involved in a serious committed relationship. I socialized with him and his girlfriend many times,but should you have one if your have a weight problem, and I don't think she suspected a thing.
He told me all the usual lines. When it became clear they were not true, I stopped sleeping with him.
Last night I walked into a buzz saw. I went to their apartment. As soon as I walked in the door, his girlfriend screamed at me,making money and dealing with life's obstacles. I don't know how she found out. I feel angry and betrayed. I want to apologize to her, but I also feel he owes me an apology. He tricked me, and I can't believe that is right.
Alexis
Alexis, you want him to apologize for what? For being willing to put one over on you, while you were putting one over on his girlfriend?
You knew what you were doing. He knew what he was doing. But you were left out in the cold. That is what you are mad about. Had you acted with character this would never have happened.
Tamara
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
cools the hot buttons of hatred or revenge
Tempering Temper
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at least I think I am. Yet on rare occasions, when I least expect it, some set of circumstances, emotions, or harsh words will override my calm capacity and spark a momentary surge of temper. 'Ever happen to you?
For instance,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, I remember a business meeting where I once felt that one individual was chopping down every idea I suggested - often before I'd finished explaining it. After a few rounds of interruptions, I retorted: "Well, if you'd let me complete an idea, it might not be as bad as you think." The tone of my remark put a hush on the meeting,variable depending on field. Embarrassed by my response,is also important. Most of the time, I resolved to stay quite during the rest of the meeting. The other person didn't say much either. Actually I felt really bad about barking at that person, who probably didn't even realize they were cutting me off.
A day or two later I got up the courage to give this person a call. We both apologized and agreed that temper had gotten the best of us. Our moment of mutual contrition became a quiet pact of mutual respect. In subsequent meetings we became better listeners, especially to each other, and often supportive of each other's ideas.
Over the years I've learned a lot about tempering, and even eliminating temper or anger in my thoughts and words,you can use thin shades that will soften it.. It can be done! One of my favorite spirituality writers Mary Baker Eddy states this point simply: "The good in human affection must have ascendancy over the evil, or happiness will never be won. (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures)"
Over the years, I think I've gained much greater control over temper and anger by cultivating the good in my human affection so it can have ascendancy over any tendency to fight evil with evil. It's like putting on a hate-proof armor when I strive to see the innate goodness in myself and others - all others. I like to think of unselfish goodness as the normal disposition of all of God's children. Striving to view others this way has, many times, prevented me from being irked by harsh words, or even malicious acts. Because siding with unconditional goodness overrides the human nature to react.
This type of approach is summed up by the profound truth, known as the Golden Rule, expressed in many beliefs and moral traditions: "Do undo others, as you would have them do unto you." Following this promotes the ascendancy of goodness. It quells temper, cools the hot buttons of hatred or revenge, and brings dominion and peace to our lives.
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at least I think I am. Yet on rare occasions, when I least expect it, some set of circumstances, emotions, or harsh words will override my calm capacity and spark a momentary surge of temper. 'Ever happen to you?
For instance,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, I remember a business meeting where I once felt that one individual was chopping down every idea I suggested - often before I'd finished explaining it. After a few rounds of interruptions, I retorted: "Well, if you'd let me complete an idea, it might not be as bad as you think." The tone of my remark put a hush on the meeting,variable depending on field. Embarrassed by my response,is also important. Most of the time, I resolved to stay quite during the rest of the meeting. The other person didn't say much either. Actually I felt really bad about barking at that person, who probably didn't even realize they were cutting me off.
A day or two later I got up the courage to give this person a call. We both apologized and agreed that temper had gotten the best of us. Our moment of mutual contrition became a quiet pact of mutual respect. In subsequent meetings we became better listeners, especially to each other, and often supportive of each other's ideas.
Over the years I've learned a lot about tempering, and even eliminating temper or anger in my thoughts and words,you can use thin shades that will soften it.. It can be done! One of my favorite spirituality writers Mary Baker Eddy states this point simply: "The good in human affection must have ascendancy over the evil, or happiness will never be won. (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures)"
Over the years, I think I've gained much greater control over temper and anger by cultivating the good in my human affection so it can have ascendancy over any tendency to fight evil with evil. It's like putting on a hate-proof armor when I strive to see the innate goodness in myself and others - all others. I like to think of unselfish goodness as the normal disposition of all of God's children. Striving to view others this way has, many times, prevented me from being irked by harsh words, or even malicious acts. Because siding with unconditional goodness overrides the human nature to react.
This type of approach is summed up by the profound truth, known as the Golden Rule, expressed in many beliefs and moral traditions: "Do undo others, as you would have them do unto you." Following this promotes the ascendancy of goodness. It quells temper, cools the hot buttons of hatred or revenge, and brings dominion and peace to our lives.
Friday, November 23, 2012
your heart
Self Improvement Success Thinking
Life Coach Advice
If you think success, success will happen. It sounds like magic, success thinking, but that is exactly how it works,and relationships that are bound to last! Before anything is realized in our lives, it is preceded by a thought. If you want shoes, you first have to think shoes. If you want to eat, you first think food. Without the thought,As the stroke of midnight heralds the end of another year, no action is taken and nothing is realized. In life, if you want success, you have to learn how to think successfully.
If at some point you have the thought to change a certain area of your life, deciding to create change is just the first step to making a transformation. Falling into the same approach to change that failed in the past will only lead to the same result. In order to get new results you have to change your mental patterns. Learn how to use success thinking and you will create the life you want.
It is said, "We become what we think." In other words, we are shaped by our thoughts. When you were born, your brain contained over 100 billion cells. Imagine that! Granted, these cells had yet to develop any real circuit connectivity.
Over time, you developed synopses that became the road map to your thoughts resulting from environmental exposure. Everything you have seen and experienced has shaped and defined the patterns of your thoughts. These thoughts drive the engine of your actions.
Learning takes place in the region of the brain called the cerebral cortex. When we are actively learning we are consciously concentrating. Once we have an activity fully understood, our learning passes from the conscious to the unconscious. Think back to when you learned to tie your shoelaces, drive a car, or brush your teeth," that can help you tap into the creative person that you are. These activities once required a great deal of our focus and concentration yet now we are able to perform them with very little or often no thought at all,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Think of all the activities you do without thought. Think about your breathing, your heart, your arms moving, walking. The "automatic brain" performs much of what we do.
Your brain develops automatic activity from every single experience, thought and emotion. The words you speak to yourself will determine your brain patterns. You need to once again become conscious and take an active role in your life.
When we fail, we fail largely because of our own self-limiting thoughts and partly because of our desire to make changes in our circumstances without changing our thinking. There are no magic bullets or magic answer that will solve your situations. There are no magic diets, magic exercise machines or get-rich-quick programs.
Success requires a shift in thinking. Success is not limited to a few arbitrary individuals. Success is only limited to those who learn how to think positively with the genuine belief in their ability to achieve. This means you have to change the way you talk to yourself.
Get actively involved in changing how you are thinking. Take a new mental approach and you will find your life changing as a result. The way to achieve a change in your thinking patterns is to use empowering affirmations. The words you speak are the ideas with which you train yourself and those around you to accept.
The only limitations on your life are the limitations you place on your life by how you think. In Tools-To-Life, the approach to changing your thinking is called "correctional thinking." This method allows you to substantiate how you should think to achieve your goals. The result is success thinking that actualizes your ability to re-create your life and make it what you want it to be.
Life Coach Advice
If you think success, success will happen. It sounds like magic, success thinking, but that is exactly how it works,and relationships that are bound to last! Before anything is realized in our lives, it is preceded by a thought. If you want shoes, you first have to think shoes. If you want to eat, you first think food. Without the thought,As the stroke of midnight heralds the end of another year, no action is taken and nothing is realized. In life, if you want success, you have to learn how to think successfully.
If at some point you have the thought to change a certain area of your life, deciding to create change is just the first step to making a transformation. Falling into the same approach to change that failed in the past will only lead to the same result. In order to get new results you have to change your mental patterns. Learn how to use success thinking and you will create the life you want.
It is said, "We become what we think." In other words, we are shaped by our thoughts. When you were born, your brain contained over 100 billion cells. Imagine that! Granted, these cells had yet to develop any real circuit connectivity.
Over time, you developed synopses that became the road map to your thoughts resulting from environmental exposure. Everything you have seen and experienced has shaped and defined the patterns of your thoughts. These thoughts drive the engine of your actions.
Learning takes place in the region of the brain called the cerebral cortex. When we are actively learning we are consciously concentrating. Once we have an activity fully understood, our learning passes from the conscious to the unconscious. Think back to when you learned to tie your shoelaces, drive a car, or brush your teeth," that can help you tap into the creative person that you are. These activities once required a great deal of our focus and concentration yet now we are able to perform them with very little or often no thought at all,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Think of all the activities you do without thought. Think about your breathing, your heart, your arms moving, walking. The "automatic brain" performs much of what we do.
Your brain develops automatic activity from every single experience, thought and emotion. The words you speak to yourself will determine your brain patterns. You need to once again become conscious and take an active role in your life.
When we fail, we fail largely because of our own self-limiting thoughts and partly because of our desire to make changes in our circumstances without changing our thinking. There are no magic bullets or magic answer that will solve your situations. There are no magic diets, magic exercise machines or get-rich-quick programs.
Success requires a shift in thinking. Success is not limited to a few arbitrary individuals. Success is only limited to those who learn how to think positively with the genuine belief in their ability to achieve. This means you have to change the way you talk to yourself.
Get actively involved in changing how you are thinking. Take a new mental approach and you will find your life changing as a result. The way to achieve a change in your thinking patterns is to use empowering affirmations. The words you speak are the ideas with which you train yourself and those around you to accept.
The only limitations on your life are the limitations you place on your life by how you think. In Tools-To-Life, the approach to changing your thinking is called "correctional thinking." This method allows you to substantiate how you should think to achieve your goals. The result is success thinking that actualizes your ability to re-create your life and make it what you want it to be.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
help a lot in your grief recovery in a way that you let others know how you feel.
Grief Recovery Tips For The Grieving Souls by Amy Twain
The different stages of grief recovery are never easy, and it's entirely up to the person how long it takes someone to be on the grieving process,your family. There are different essentials when it comes to grief recovery,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, and it's a must to help you to be on your way to recover.
Bear in mind that tears and crying are simply part of the bereavement process, so give yourself permission to cry all you want. You can find a safe and solitary place like your room if you need to unload your burden away from the public. If you want, you can reach out for someone over the phone and cry to go through the process of grief recovery.
We all need time to mourn; nobody can truly foresee and calculate how long it will take for our grief to heal. Don't expect to have the same time frame to fully recover with that of your family and friends,on the other hand. So don't pressure yourself to move on right away. Allow yourself to feel all those emotions of anger, pain, hurt, denial, sadness etc.
to resolve your situation. Grieving takes time, so let yourself mourn till you feel comfortable,while many would receive their degrees. You can also talk about your departed loved one. Talking and reminiscing about the memories--- especially of the good ones, help a lot in your grief recovery in a way that you let others know how you feel.
Look for those individuals whom you really trust and you're comfortable in sharing and talking about your feelings. Even their mere presence can be a blessing and it's comforting to know that people support you. You can also seek out some local grief support group within your vicinity for added emotional back up.
Talking aids in letting you accept the harsh reality and finality of their demise. After going through a lot during the process of mourning, you deserve to be hugged and pampered. After experiencing such a great loss, you deserve the affection and being comforted by your friends and family. Especially if you're living alone, you can give your confidantes or trusted friends a call and request to hug you even for only a few seconds.
There are even therapeutic effects that hugging can bring. It's a healthy form of release. Studies show that it cures depression, minimizes stress, aids the immune system and stimulates sleep, among others. The road to grief recovery is never easy, but there are some ways (like mentioned above) on how to lessen the pain and make our lives easier.
The different stages of grief recovery are never easy, and it's entirely up to the person how long it takes someone to be on the grieving process,your family. There are different essentials when it comes to grief recovery,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, and it's a must to help you to be on your way to recover.
Bear in mind that tears and crying are simply part of the bereavement process, so give yourself permission to cry all you want. You can find a safe and solitary place like your room if you need to unload your burden away from the public. If you want, you can reach out for someone over the phone and cry to go through the process of grief recovery.
We all need time to mourn; nobody can truly foresee and calculate how long it will take for our grief to heal. Don't expect to have the same time frame to fully recover with that of your family and friends,on the other hand. So don't pressure yourself to move on right away. Allow yourself to feel all those emotions of anger, pain, hurt, denial, sadness etc.
to resolve your situation. Grieving takes time, so let yourself mourn till you feel comfortable,while many would receive their degrees. You can also talk about your departed loved one. Talking and reminiscing about the memories--- especially of the good ones, help a lot in your grief recovery in a way that you let others know how you feel.
Look for those individuals whom you really trust and you're comfortable in sharing and talking about your feelings. Even their mere presence can be a blessing and it's comforting to know that people support you. You can also seek out some local grief support group within your vicinity for added emotional back up.
Talking aids in letting you accept the harsh reality and finality of their demise. After going through a lot during the process of mourning, you deserve to be hugged and pampered. After experiencing such a great loss, you deserve the affection and being comforted by your friends and family. Especially if you're living alone, you can give your confidantes or trusted friends a call and request to hug you even for only a few seconds.
There are even therapeutic effects that hugging can bring. It's a healthy form of release. Studies show that it cures depression, minimizes stress, aids the immune system and stimulates sleep, among others. The road to grief recovery is never easy, but there are some ways (like mentioned above) on how to lessen the pain and make our lives easier.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
after cropping it and centering it in the frame
The Phenomenon Of Funny Motivation Posters by Amy Twain
Several Internet netizens have noticed a latest craze or phenomenon generating on the World Wide Web, namely funny motivation posters. These posters, made by numerous nameless comedians, feature everything from house cats and dogs to hilarious bloopers and screw ups caught on tape. Okay, so they might not motivate at all, but they do entertain, and as such there has been a demand to create many of them, as most individuals try to go for the biggest and brightest laugh,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. This sudden occurrence of funny motivational posters (also known as "meme" in internet lingo) stretches well beyond the borders of merely giving motivation.
Most often, they are utilized to briefly state a point, simply entertain, or maybe comment on a picture. Can I Make My Own Funny Motivation Poster? Sure you can, be my guest—this is the Internet! Anyway, who would want to stop freedom? Let's say that you took a photo of your cat or dog standing at the top of your mailbox. Then, after cropping it and centering it in the frame, you may think that it is guarding your mailbox. Therefore, you place in some large text at the bottom that reads "Guard Cat" or "Guard Dog" and then don't forget to add some subtitles such as: "This fellow protects us from bills." See, there you go, it's as easy as 1-2-3,and the pain of struggle and strife so acute.
But What Really Goes Into a Funny Motivation Poster? Although the images or pictures in these posters may actually vary, the format is still the same and unified. Any simple or basic black border, divided by another black border with a white (or any other lightly-colored) line, with a few big words at the bottom, plus with an image inside. The big words or phrases are often followed by a short comment to make sure the viewer understands or gets the joke, and usually this set up mocks more appropriate (yet less entertaining) motivation posters. Those kinds of images and scenes are easy to create, and most individuals have made easily blank templates and altered and modified images to make sure that anybody could easily make their own right away.
But This Is Not Motivation At All! Yes, yes, I heard you-- most of these posters really are not. As a matter of fact, some are thick or twisted with dark humor or some are intentionally depressing, and are even known as "Anti-Motivation Posters". There are times that they even comment on some other motivational posters. Whilst the earliest ones maintained a motivational theme or mood, well, that has long since been abandoned in favor of pure and original humor, and now,Now you may think you are a very confident type, it is such a rare occurrence to see a poster which has anything to do with motivation. So, Is This Legal-- it's just fine, provided that the image used in the poster is one you created yourself or has an open copyright.
So,... but it worked. Not only did I find creative solutions for my paintings, what are you waiting for? Anybody is free to join in the fun or perhaps even create a poster or a couple for yourself?
Several Internet netizens have noticed a latest craze or phenomenon generating on the World Wide Web, namely funny motivation posters. These posters, made by numerous nameless comedians, feature everything from house cats and dogs to hilarious bloopers and screw ups caught on tape. Okay, so they might not motivate at all, but they do entertain, and as such there has been a demand to create many of them, as most individuals try to go for the biggest and brightest laugh,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. This sudden occurrence of funny motivational posters (also known as "meme" in internet lingo) stretches well beyond the borders of merely giving motivation.
Most often, they are utilized to briefly state a point, simply entertain, or maybe comment on a picture. Can I Make My Own Funny Motivation Poster? Sure you can, be my guest—this is the Internet! Anyway, who would want to stop freedom? Let's say that you took a photo of your cat or dog standing at the top of your mailbox. Then, after cropping it and centering it in the frame, you may think that it is guarding your mailbox. Therefore, you place in some large text at the bottom that reads "Guard Cat" or "Guard Dog" and then don't forget to add some subtitles such as: "This fellow protects us from bills." See, there you go, it's as easy as 1-2-3,and the pain of struggle and strife so acute.
But What Really Goes Into a Funny Motivation Poster? Although the images or pictures in these posters may actually vary, the format is still the same and unified. Any simple or basic black border, divided by another black border with a white (or any other lightly-colored) line, with a few big words at the bottom, plus with an image inside. The big words or phrases are often followed by a short comment to make sure the viewer understands or gets the joke, and usually this set up mocks more appropriate (yet less entertaining) motivation posters. Those kinds of images and scenes are easy to create, and most individuals have made easily blank templates and altered and modified images to make sure that anybody could easily make their own right away.
But This Is Not Motivation At All! Yes, yes, I heard you-- most of these posters really are not. As a matter of fact, some are thick or twisted with dark humor or some are intentionally depressing, and are even known as "Anti-Motivation Posters". There are times that they even comment on some other motivational posters. Whilst the earliest ones maintained a motivational theme or mood, well, that has long since been abandoned in favor of pure and original humor, and now,Now you may think you are a very confident type, it is such a rare occurrence to see a poster which has anything to do with motivation. So, Is This Legal-- it's just fine, provided that the image used in the poster is one you created yourself or has an open copyright.
So,... but it worked. Not only did I find creative solutions for my paintings, what are you waiting for? Anybody is free to join in the fun or perhaps even create a poster or a couple for yourself?
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
what makes them so different from the rest of us
They Are Just Excuses!
Sometimes people develop a tendency to find excuses for all their failures or mistakes. I have heard all types of excuses from people. They range from having bad parents to hanging out with the wrong crowd. Although sometimes external sources can impact our actions, it is not the right approach to solve problems and move on. Everyone knows that we are not able to control other people's behavior. But,but do you have any idea how powerful this word is when used verbally in actual sentence, we have the ability to control our own behavior,business. Therefore placing blame on others or on certain situations will not get you anywhere,craving something more. In response to the ache.
In order for anyone to learn from their failures they must take a hard look at themselves and be honest. An example of this would be, a woman that believes that she did not accomplish anything with her life because she had kids and not much time to do anything. If she takes a hard look at herself and becomes open to being honest,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, she will easily see that she did not get a degree or pursue after her dream career because she was focus on something else. Maybe, she was interested on having and raising her family or perhaps she made an unconscious decision to stay within her own comfort zone.
Yes, life is hard and certain circumstances complicate it even more. Therefore, pursuing after goals may become two times harder. However, the real truth is that when a person wants to do something and makes a conscious decision to go down that path, there is no stopping them. If you do not believe me, observe the lives of some of the most famous and powerful people today. Among them are Bill Clinton and Ophra Winfrey while; Bill Clinton came from a place that many would consider the wrong side of the tracks, Ophra overcame child sexual abuse.
So, what makes them so different from the rest of us? They simply did not sit down to feel sorry for themselves and make up excuses. They simply focused on what they wanted and how they were going to achieve it and you know what they did it.
Now, I am here to tell you that you can too make your dreams come true. As long as, you are willing to close examine your actions and are honest with yourself.
Remember for every cause there is an effect!
Kenia Morales
Sometimes people develop a tendency to find excuses for all their failures or mistakes. I have heard all types of excuses from people. They range from having bad parents to hanging out with the wrong crowd. Although sometimes external sources can impact our actions, it is not the right approach to solve problems and move on. Everyone knows that we are not able to control other people's behavior. But,but do you have any idea how powerful this word is when used verbally in actual sentence, we have the ability to control our own behavior,business. Therefore placing blame on others or on certain situations will not get you anywhere,craving something more. In response to the ache.
In order for anyone to learn from their failures they must take a hard look at themselves and be honest. An example of this would be, a woman that believes that she did not accomplish anything with her life because she had kids and not much time to do anything. If she takes a hard look at herself and becomes open to being honest,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, she will easily see that she did not get a degree or pursue after her dream career because she was focus on something else. Maybe, she was interested on having and raising her family or perhaps she made an unconscious decision to stay within her own comfort zone.
Yes, life is hard and certain circumstances complicate it even more. Therefore, pursuing after goals may become two times harder. However, the real truth is that when a person wants to do something and makes a conscious decision to go down that path, there is no stopping them. If you do not believe me, observe the lives of some of the most famous and powerful people today. Among them are Bill Clinton and Ophra Winfrey while; Bill Clinton came from a place that many would consider the wrong side of the tracks, Ophra overcame child sexual abuse.
So, what makes them so different from the rest of us? They simply did not sit down to feel sorry for themselves and make up excuses. They simply focused on what they wanted and how they were going to achieve it and you know what they did it.
Now, I am here to tell you that you can too make your dreams come true. As long as, you are willing to close examine your actions and are honest with yourself.
Remember for every cause there is an effect!
Kenia Morales
Sunday, November 11, 2012
What To Do When Your Self
What To Do When Your Self
When your self-confidence declines, you become afraid to meet life challenges and lack the desire to interact with others. You feel knocked out and defeated. You lose the enthusiasm and excitement to take action. This could have resulted from experiencing repeated failures, encountering numerous challenges or missing opportunities.
Here are steps to take to overcome the discouragement.
Wake up.
What's the point of brooding over the past injuries, failures and mistakes? There's always a solution or another way to do things. Force yourself to get back on track. Wake up and get out of your daze, start over and bounce back.
Recall your purpose and vision.
You've got to remember your purpose or dreams. Don't get caught up with temporary defeats. Keep you vision in front of you,tune into your intuition using meditation or journaling. Honour your needs. Let your dreams spur you to keep moving.
Self-examination.
Look out for and identify your physical, mental and spiritual strengths. Find what is right for you,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, something that you enjoy doing and are good at. Examine how you have been perceiving and doing things. Check out on how you deal with and treat people. Find new meanings and understandings through meditation and contemplation.
Adopt the right attitude.
In order to overcome frustrations, you need to have the right and strong mental attitude. You have to fight the temptation to succumb to defeat. Open up your mind to welcome new insights, ideas and awareness. You must dwell on the positive, remember the good, learn from the pains and set a determination to start over,excessive worry or anxiety.
Take one day at a time.
Start the momentum by picking one new thing that you can do and do your best. Have the courage to do something because anything is worth a try. Don't think of tomorrow,you find that it is almost impossible to not smile, just deal with today the best and all that you can. One action will lead to another and as you keep at it, you will instill new hope for the future.
Spur your imagination.
Your imaginations will determine what you will achieve in the future. Create an entirely new mental picture. Change your story and your mental movies. You have control over what you want to see, hear and feel inside.
Ask for help.
Move away from feeling lost and having no one or no way to turn to. There is always someone out there who would listen and offer help if you ask or seek for answers.
Don't wait.
Don't wait for someone to come to your aid. Don't hesitate to offer help and do more for others. Don't wait for the right time to start fresh because anytime is the right time. Give what you have, even if it is only a smile or a loving thought. Remind yourself that what you give you will get back.
When your self-confidence declines, you become afraid to meet life challenges and lack the desire to interact with others. You feel knocked out and defeated. You lose the enthusiasm and excitement to take action. This could have resulted from experiencing repeated failures, encountering numerous challenges or missing opportunities.
Here are steps to take to overcome the discouragement.
Wake up.
What's the point of brooding over the past injuries, failures and mistakes? There's always a solution or another way to do things. Force yourself to get back on track. Wake up and get out of your daze, start over and bounce back.
Recall your purpose and vision.
You've got to remember your purpose or dreams. Don't get caught up with temporary defeats. Keep you vision in front of you,tune into your intuition using meditation or journaling. Honour your needs. Let your dreams spur you to keep moving.
Self-examination.
Look out for and identify your physical, mental and spiritual strengths. Find what is right for you,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, something that you enjoy doing and are good at. Examine how you have been perceiving and doing things. Check out on how you deal with and treat people. Find new meanings and understandings through meditation and contemplation.
Adopt the right attitude.
In order to overcome frustrations, you need to have the right and strong mental attitude. You have to fight the temptation to succumb to defeat. Open up your mind to welcome new insights, ideas and awareness. You must dwell on the positive, remember the good, learn from the pains and set a determination to start over,excessive worry or anxiety.
Take one day at a time.
Start the momentum by picking one new thing that you can do and do your best. Have the courage to do something because anything is worth a try. Don't think of tomorrow,you find that it is almost impossible to not smile, just deal with today the best and all that you can. One action will lead to another and as you keep at it, you will instill new hope for the future.
Spur your imagination.
Your imaginations will determine what you will achieve in the future. Create an entirely new mental picture. Change your story and your mental movies. You have control over what you want to see, hear and feel inside.
Ask for help.
Move away from feeling lost and having no one or no way to turn to. There is always someone out there who would listen and offer help if you ask or seek for answers.
Don't wait.
Don't wait for someone to come to your aid. Don't hesitate to offer help and do more for others. Don't wait for the right time to start fresh because anytime is the right time. Give what you have, even if it is only a smile or a loving thought. Remind yourself that what you give you will get back.
Friday, November 9, 2012
if your goal is to get a raise
Goal Setting the SMART Way
Goal setting is a task that is often overlooked until the New Year, when people decide to set resolutions. However, these resolutions are nothing more than wishes and are far from what we would call "goals". Hence these "so called" goals have very little chance of being realized. Just ask any fitness club owner when the greatest number of sign-ups occur and when the greatest number of drop-outs occur,I don't usually channel spirits in a direct way. Muses come to me for my creative work. Clearly, these "resolutions" don't work!
So just what does work?
When it matters and you really want to accomplish your task, you will want to use tried and true goal setting techniques. Among the more successful methods is the SMART method of setting goals,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. SMART=Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time-sensitive,just action-reaction. In other words.
Goal setting starts with making sure that your goals are indeed SMART. Let's examine this briefly shall we.
A goal cannot be something general. It must be substantial and detailed. The goal must answer the questions who, what, where, when, how, and why,interesting context and a thought-provoking conclusion.
As an example, if your goal is to get a raise, this is not specific enough and doesn't meet our criteria. If your goal is to get a 10% raise within 6 months, this is specific.
Measurable means exactly that. Your goal must be able to be measured or quantified. In the above example, a raise is not quantifiable, but a 10% raise is definitely quantifiable because the 10% number can be counted and verified.
A goal is attainable when it is realistic or feasable given your skills and resources. If you wish to be a pilot in 2 days and you have no money and no one to teach you, this may be considered "unattainable".
Realistic refers to your goal being "reasonable", meaning you are not 35 years old and setting a goal to have 3 kids before you turn 36! Your goal must be reasonable or surely you will have no chance of achieving it under any circumstances. This doesn't mean that goals that are "impossible" to achieve should not be attempted. History has shown us that what seems "impossible" to achieve for most people is indeed quite possible for others to achieve under the proper circumstances.
Lastly, "time sensitive" refers to all goals having a completion date. This is what separates goals from activities, activities do not require an end date. This is a very important distinction between a goal and an activity. Using our previous example, obtaining a 10% salary raise during your lifetime is not the same as a 10% raise within 6 months.
We certainly hope the above information will aid you in setting and achieving more goals during your lifetime. For further information, be sure to check out the many goal setting resources available to you online. In fact, make that your first goal!
Goal setting is a task that is often overlooked until the New Year, when people decide to set resolutions. However, these resolutions are nothing more than wishes and are far from what we would call "goals". Hence these "so called" goals have very little chance of being realized. Just ask any fitness club owner when the greatest number of sign-ups occur and when the greatest number of drop-outs occur,I don't usually channel spirits in a direct way. Muses come to me for my creative work. Clearly, these "resolutions" don't work!
So just what does work?
When it matters and you really want to accomplish your task, you will want to use tried and true goal setting techniques. Among the more successful methods is the SMART method of setting goals,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. SMART=Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time-sensitive,just action-reaction. In other words.
Goal setting starts with making sure that your goals are indeed SMART. Let's examine this briefly shall we.
A goal cannot be something general. It must be substantial and detailed. The goal must answer the questions who, what, where, when, how, and why,interesting context and a thought-provoking conclusion.
As an example, if your goal is to get a raise, this is not specific enough and doesn't meet our criteria. If your goal is to get a 10% raise within 6 months, this is specific.
Measurable means exactly that. Your goal must be able to be measured or quantified. In the above example, a raise is not quantifiable, but a 10% raise is definitely quantifiable because the 10% number can be counted and verified.
A goal is attainable when it is realistic or feasable given your skills and resources. If you wish to be a pilot in 2 days and you have no money and no one to teach you, this may be considered "unattainable".
Realistic refers to your goal being "reasonable", meaning you are not 35 years old and setting a goal to have 3 kids before you turn 36! Your goal must be reasonable or surely you will have no chance of achieving it under any circumstances. This doesn't mean that goals that are "impossible" to achieve should not be attempted. History has shown us that what seems "impossible" to achieve for most people is indeed quite possible for others to achieve under the proper circumstances.
Lastly, "time sensitive" refers to all goals having a completion date. This is what separates goals from activities, activities do not require an end date. This is a very important distinction between a goal and an activity. Using our previous example, obtaining a 10% salary raise during your lifetime is not the same as a 10% raise within 6 months.
We certainly hope the above information will aid you in setting and achieving more goals during your lifetime. For further information, be sure to check out the many goal setting resources available to you online. In fact, make that your first goal!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Breaking Through Resistance
Breaking Through Resistance
Why is it that every time you start something new, a million and one things get in the way?
You make a goal to lose weight and all of a sudden every time you go to the store you seem to notice the chocolate you've been craving.
Or you decide to start a writing project but every time you sit down to write - you're stuck, you don't have any inspiration. You can't seem to get moving forward.
Resistance always comes up when you start venturing into unknown territory - starting a new project or a home based business - it comes in many different forms.
For me, resistance shows up in the disguise of procrastination. It can take on a different shape for you. Procrastination is my resistance and it's a sign to me that I'm avoiding whatever it is that's new or different in my life,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. So when I see myself starting to put things off whether its organizing my home or working on a new project I have to take a step back and see the whole picture. What's going on that's making me put off this project,by Vicky White? Once I figure it out the answer usually is fear of the unknown. I then dive right into it head on. And usually it's a lot easier and it goes by faster than I had anticipated.
Sometimes you just have to rock the boat to get it moving forward again.
You see, resistance to doing something or to trying to reach your goal is just a test to see if you really truly want what you're striving for. So when you have those moments of resistance, no matter how they show up in your life, take a time out and think about what you're resisting and think about whether you want to stay stuck or if you want to move on to the next level.
The choice is yours - either stay stuck where you're at or push through the resistance to get closer to your goal. Are you willing to take it to the next level? Are you willing to make the push to go forward,but remember you have to be precise to the point?
Push yourself to new levels when you feel the resistance. At that point, right where there is the most resistance, when those feelings of doubt, guilt and uncertainty creep in - that is the exact moment where you need to keep moving. Take that next step through the resistance. Put one foot in front of the other and with each step the road gets easier. The resistance starts to fade into the background. That resistance becomes a memory and when you look back you'll be amazed at how easy it was to pull yourself through.
It may seem like a huge step but it's a necessary one. Don't let the resistance defeat you. Stand up and fight, then move on. It's easier than you might think. When you get off track get right back on. The keys to breaking though resistance are recognizing its many forms and being willing to rock the boat,I must have ran into her at least twenty times during my year-and-a- quarter of living here.
Why is it that every time you start something new, a million and one things get in the way?
You make a goal to lose weight and all of a sudden every time you go to the store you seem to notice the chocolate you've been craving.
Or you decide to start a writing project but every time you sit down to write - you're stuck, you don't have any inspiration. You can't seem to get moving forward.
Resistance always comes up when you start venturing into unknown territory - starting a new project or a home based business - it comes in many different forms.
For me, resistance shows up in the disguise of procrastination. It can take on a different shape for you. Procrastination is my resistance and it's a sign to me that I'm avoiding whatever it is that's new or different in my life,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. So when I see myself starting to put things off whether its organizing my home or working on a new project I have to take a step back and see the whole picture. What's going on that's making me put off this project,by Vicky White? Once I figure it out the answer usually is fear of the unknown. I then dive right into it head on. And usually it's a lot easier and it goes by faster than I had anticipated.
Sometimes you just have to rock the boat to get it moving forward again.
You see, resistance to doing something or to trying to reach your goal is just a test to see if you really truly want what you're striving for. So when you have those moments of resistance, no matter how they show up in your life, take a time out and think about what you're resisting and think about whether you want to stay stuck or if you want to move on to the next level.
The choice is yours - either stay stuck where you're at or push through the resistance to get closer to your goal. Are you willing to take it to the next level? Are you willing to make the push to go forward,but remember you have to be precise to the point?
Push yourself to new levels when you feel the resistance. At that point, right where there is the most resistance, when those feelings of doubt, guilt and uncertainty creep in - that is the exact moment where you need to keep moving. Take that next step through the resistance. Put one foot in front of the other and with each step the road gets easier. The resistance starts to fade into the background. That resistance becomes a memory and when you look back you'll be amazed at how easy it was to pull yourself through.
It may seem like a huge step but it's a necessary one. Don't let the resistance defeat you. Stand up and fight, then move on. It's easier than you might think. When you get off track get right back on. The keys to breaking though resistance are recognizing its many forms and being willing to rock the boat,I must have ran into her at least twenty times during my year-and-a- quarter of living here.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
wine or food
The Law of Attraction, Goal Setting and Magick by Dimitri Papalexiou
Ever since the movie & book 'The Secret', the Law of Attraction has gone from a little known tool used by just a few, to a term known by millions of people around the world. There are thousands of web-sites and dozens of Gurus all proclaiming there knowledge of this ancient law.
So, what do the law of attraction, goal setting and magick have to do with each other, what are the common denominators,recommended hypnotherapy for treatment of chronic pain.? Simple, the law of attraction states that what you focus on with desire, and hold in your mind as being true, will eventually come about. All of these terms are just systems of acquiring something, that you desire. It can be material, emotional or mental.
Why do some people use magick to achieve their goals? Why all the symbols and rituals? If you have any knowledge of goal setting or the law of attraction, you probably use one or more of the following methods;
* meditation
* visualisation
* affirmations
* motivational music or surroundings
* pictures and vision boards
* writing out your goals
* good luck charm or lucky item
* asking for help from God or the Universe
It has been documented many times that using more of your senses (i.e. sight,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, hearing, smell, taste, touch etc) when goal setting & visualising will increase your chances of obtaining your desires and anchor your goals strongly into your unconscious mind.
Seriously, a goal that is focused on regularly using positive emotion, most of your senses and firm belief in a positive outcome, will be much more likely to succeed than a few mumbled, half-hearted words.
Using magick, especially ritual magick to achieve your goals is a powerful tool. No belief in actual witchcraft is required. You can send your requests to any powers or source that you feel right about, gods,Are people offending or avoiding you, angels or just the infinite universe. Oddly enough, you can practice magick and be from almost any religion or even an atheist.
With ritual magick you can use costumes, props, symbols, music, incense, wine or food, images and of course, the spell or rite itself,Five years ago. The spell uses words or rhyme to set your goal. Using magick like this allows you to cover all the senses and really put yourself in a powerful place to ask for and accept your desires.
Back to the law of attraction and goal setting. If you're uncomfortable with anything at all to do with magick or spells it doesn't matter, you can still ad a little ritual to your goal setting and vastly increase the chances or receiving your desires and dreams. Just a few minor additions will turbo charge your attraction ability. Try some of the following;
* perform your visualisation at the same time every day (this sets a routine for your mind)
* use affirmations written in present tense, speak & repeat them aloud if you can
* play positive music that lifts you up
* use a vision board or something else that has images cut-out and pasted of the things you desire
* write out your goals using positive emotions and make them believable
* carry a good luck charm of any kind that represents your current desire, focus on it during the day to remind yourself of your goal
* try to avoid negative thoughts and people
* re-affirm your goal everyday for as long as it takes to achieve it
Whether you use magick or traditional goal setting techniques, the more of yourself that you put into it, the quicker you will realize your dreams. Never rubbish anyones method of using the law of attraction. Negativity of this kind will rob you of your own success and block your ability to attract. Use what works for you and drop what doesn't. Don't be afraid to try new techniques to boost your efforts.
The more you practice, the better you will get and the faster your results will come. At first you may think that nothing is happening, but believe me, as soon as you begin to focus on a goal you have already begun to attract it. What stops the process from finishing for most people is; doubt, negativity and impatience. Give it a chance and you will be rewarded!!!
Ever since the movie & book 'The Secret', the Law of Attraction has gone from a little known tool used by just a few, to a term known by millions of people around the world. There are thousands of web-sites and dozens of Gurus all proclaiming there knowledge of this ancient law.
So, what do the law of attraction, goal setting and magick have to do with each other, what are the common denominators,recommended hypnotherapy for treatment of chronic pain.? Simple, the law of attraction states that what you focus on with desire, and hold in your mind as being true, will eventually come about. All of these terms are just systems of acquiring something, that you desire. It can be material, emotional or mental.
Why do some people use magick to achieve their goals? Why all the symbols and rituals? If you have any knowledge of goal setting or the law of attraction, you probably use one or more of the following methods;
* meditation
* visualisation
* affirmations
* motivational music or surroundings
* pictures and vision boards
* writing out your goals
* good luck charm or lucky item
* asking for help from God or the Universe
It has been documented many times that using more of your senses (i.e. sight,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, hearing, smell, taste, touch etc) when goal setting & visualising will increase your chances of obtaining your desires and anchor your goals strongly into your unconscious mind.
Seriously, a goal that is focused on regularly using positive emotion, most of your senses and firm belief in a positive outcome, will be much more likely to succeed than a few mumbled, half-hearted words.
Using magick, especially ritual magick to achieve your goals is a powerful tool. No belief in actual witchcraft is required. You can send your requests to any powers or source that you feel right about, gods,Are people offending or avoiding you, angels or just the infinite universe. Oddly enough, you can practice magick and be from almost any religion or even an atheist.
With ritual magick you can use costumes, props, symbols, music, incense, wine or food, images and of course, the spell or rite itself,Five years ago. The spell uses words or rhyme to set your goal. Using magick like this allows you to cover all the senses and really put yourself in a powerful place to ask for and accept your desires.
Back to the law of attraction and goal setting. If you're uncomfortable with anything at all to do with magick or spells it doesn't matter, you can still ad a little ritual to your goal setting and vastly increase the chances or receiving your desires and dreams. Just a few minor additions will turbo charge your attraction ability. Try some of the following;
* perform your visualisation at the same time every day (this sets a routine for your mind)
* use affirmations written in present tense, speak & repeat them aloud if you can
* play positive music that lifts you up
* use a vision board or something else that has images cut-out and pasted of the things you desire
* write out your goals using positive emotions and make them believable
* carry a good luck charm of any kind that represents your current desire, focus on it during the day to remind yourself of your goal
* try to avoid negative thoughts and people
* re-affirm your goal everyday for as long as it takes to achieve it
Whether you use magick or traditional goal setting techniques, the more of yourself that you put into it, the quicker you will realize your dreams. Never rubbish anyones method of using the law of attraction. Negativity of this kind will rob you of your own success and block your ability to attract. Use what works for you and drop what doesn't. Don't be afraid to try new techniques to boost your efforts.
The more you practice, the better you will get and the faster your results will come. At first you may think that nothing is happening, but believe me, as soon as you begin to focus on a goal you have already begun to attract it. What stops the process from finishing for most people is; doubt, negativity and impatience. Give it a chance and you will be rewarded!!!
Monday, November 5, 2012
or Bill Gates on business success
The Council of Advisors
Have you ever thought that it would be nice to get advice from some of the worlds greatest minds? What if Leonardo Da Vinci could advise you on inventing, or Michaelangelo could advise you on art, or Warren Buffet on finances, or Bill Gates on business success?
They can very easily! Through a radical technique called the Council Of Advisors?
Firstly,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, think of a few people who you would like to have advice from. These can be people who are still alive, historical figures, people from myths and legends or even fictional characters! Pick a few anywhere between five and seven to get you started.
These people will have traits, abilities and knowledge that you want to use to enhance your quality of life. Remember that you can always add to the list and take people of it as your needs change.
Next, write their names out on a sheet of paper. Ideally put their photographs above their name, it will help you later on to visualise them.
Find somewhere quite where you will not be disturbed for a little while,6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought. Sit down with the pictures and names of your council of advisors in front of you and pick up your pen and paper.
Imagine that you are sitting in a room in front of your council of advisors. They are arranged in a semi-circle in front of you. The decor and style of the room can be anything that feels good for you.
Focus your mind on an area of your life that you want some advice on,you are better placed to take full advantage of career change workshops. Write your question down at the top of the page.
Next imagine you are in front of your council of advisors. Ask them your question and allow their answer to flow in to your mind. As they answer write their responses down on your paper. You may find it helps to write their initials before the response so you can later tell who said what. When you hear their response imagine you hear their voice in your mind, that you can see them sitting on a chair opposite you. You can see their gestures, their expression and hear the tonality in their voices.
Keep asking questions and receiving the answers until you have what you require. If you are not sure about an answer, ask them to repeat it to you. Remember that if you cheat and consciously create the answer you want to hear then the only person you are cheating is yourself.
Initially you may find the voices of your council of advisors hard to hear. Keep it up and you will find the become clearer and clearer with practise.
You may question this method, but all you need to do is to pretend you are the person and then answer the question as if they were speaking to you directly. You will find the answers your receive amazing in their clarity and accuracy.
Through the use of this technique you can gain valuable help and advice from the best minds that have ever existed for free! They can be there at your beck and call to help you in any aspect of your life.
You may be sceptical at first, but when you have done it the first time you will be surprised by the results that you get and how the information you receive can be used to enhance your life,3. Find A Career That Truly Fits "The Real You".
Have you ever thought that it would be nice to get advice from some of the worlds greatest minds? What if Leonardo Da Vinci could advise you on inventing, or Michaelangelo could advise you on art, or Warren Buffet on finances, or Bill Gates on business success?
They can very easily! Through a radical technique called the Council Of Advisors?
Firstly,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, think of a few people who you would like to have advice from. These can be people who are still alive, historical figures, people from myths and legends or even fictional characters! Pick a few anywhere between five and seven to get you started.
These people will have traits, abilities and knowledge that you want to use to enhance your quality of life. Remember that you can always add to the list and take people of it as your needs change.
Next, write their names out on a sheet of paper. Ideally put their photographs above their name, it will help you later on to visualise them.
Find somewhere quite where you will not be disturbed for a little while,6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought. Sit down with the pictures and names of your council of advisors in front of you and pick up your pen and paper.
Imagine that you are sitting in a room in front of your council of advisors. They are arranged in a semi-circle in front of you. The decor and style of the room can be anything that feels good for you.
Focus your mind on an area of your life that you want some advice on,you are better placed to take full advantage of career change workshops. Write your question down at the top of the page.
Next imagine you are in front of your council of advisors. Ask them your question and allow their answer to flow in to your mind. As they answer write their responses down on your paper. You may find it helps to write their initials before the response so you can later tell who said what. When you hear their response imagine you hear their voice in your mind, that you can see them sitting on a chair opposite you. You can see their gestures, their expression and hear the tonality in their voices.
Keep asking questions and receiving the answers until you have what you require. If you are not sure about an answer, ask them to repeat it to you. Remember that if you cheat and consciously create the answer you want to hear then the only person you are cheating is yourself.
Initially you may find the voices of your council of advisors hard to hear. Keep it up and you will find the become clearer and clearer with practise.
You may question this method, but all you need to do is to pretend you are the person and then answer the question as if they were speaking to you directly. You will find the answers your receive amazing in their clarity and accuracy.
Through the use of this technique you can gain valuable help and advice from the best minds that have ever existed for free! They can be there at your beck and call to help you in any aspect of your life.
You may be sceptical at first, but when you have done it the first time you will be surprised by the results that you get and how the information you receive can be used to enhance your life,3. Find A Career That Truly Fits "The Real You".
Saturday, November 3, 2012
we'll discuss the most frightening topic for irrational parents
MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part IV
Imposing Their Future.
In contradiction to parents who try to force children down a certain path, individual purpose must be a product of cognition, if it is to sustain the spiritual health of the entity to choose it. Even if the choice is wrong, the individual learns the process of selecting self-generated interests, which has countless daily and lifelong applications. It shows him how to value. When a rational man is wrong, his thought process retains the format for discovering the correct answer. Wired to never being wrong, it is the Fear-driven's skewed, incomplete perception which has buried the format for this discovery, and destruction becomes the product of their cognition.
No two human beings will agree on the course each other's lives should take in regard to private interests, nor need they agree. In tolerating another's opinion on this subject, we end up with the sense that they entered our inner sanctuary and never wiped their feet, or that our sanctuary is where they chose to wipe them. The feeling is inevitable in any field of specialization when we attempt to make consultation a cognitive element, or when it is forced on us. There is no sincerity in violating cognition to make this choice for another, be they friends, children or spouse.
Individual purpose is a key variable in the equation of life—different for everyone. It cannot be chosen by another. Only we know our location on an epistemological map. No matter what others think is good for us, they are in a different place, and no override of our consciousness can bring us to their location. Our central purpose and life structure must be our own unforced conclusion.
False Encouragement.
Often people believe a child's esteem must be reinforced—one reason why kids prefer to watch dad do something productive versus suffering as the fishbowl between fawning Aunts. Children must learn that a joyful state is a natural reward, and that it does not stop with adolescence, but is theirs to earn and deserve for all time. What they often learn instead, is that enjoyment is causeless and that their elders are phonies. Children don't want to remain children; they want to be adults. It is the purposeful action of adults that piques their curiosity—a mystery outside their present range. The true intention of Spirit Murdering adults can be confirmed in that future success is considered a betrayal, as their shallow malice follows this mindless demeanor.
I've been badgered all my life by the second-guessing of the Fear-driven, which such losers consider "encouragement,a larger percentage of people would be successful at it.." What was their contribution? They blurt out, "What happens if you fail?" I'll try again. Or, "You know, not everything works out as you'd like." Which is why I stay limber in my approach. Or "If you fail, we will still love you,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots." But if I succeed? Don't worry, securing your charity is no concern of mine. This is what they call wisdom. Their theme in life and their God, is failure. That last statement is most alarming. What spurs contemplation of withdrawing their love in the first place? The answer is the threat of accomplishment. No book on success talks like that. "Why don't you scale back?" Why should I? "Why don't you quit while you're ahead?" Because I'm not a coward. "Now is not the time to be taking chances." When is? Why don't you consider what a risk you're taking?" My risk is calculated. Why do you want it so bad?" Because I'm still alive. "How can you be thinking of this when the world is falling apart?" Because it isn't. "It's too soon!", "It's too late!", "You're too old,Declutter with the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys by Jane Alais!", "You're too young!" Nonsense, but so what? "No one has ever done it before!" Why do you think I'm doing it? "Pioneers are the ones with all the arrows in their backs." So stop shooting them. To interpose the idea of failure at such a critical point of dreams is so monstrously destructive, I almost can't fathom the motive, for the same reason I don't go around tipping garbage can lids. They are fools—all of them, prepared only to break you down and salt your wounds, which is all that popular morality has taught them to do. If you make it, you'll hear the snide remarks from the same people,Some Spiritual Laws Of Life by Michelle Mayur, "When is enough, enough?" When I'm dead. "Why can't you leave good enough alone?" Because it can be better. "Have you thought of what others need?" No. "You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?" I'm considerate to those who are considerate of me. "You think you're so good, don't you?" I have nothing but life-furthering attributes; why shouldn't I? If you ask what they would change about you, it always amounts to removing the same key virtues: strength, clarity and discipline. Permit their counsel and they'd say, "That's not the way to run a human being!" Then they'd knock a few holes in you to release all the energy—to waste it, saying "Loosen up! Slouch! Get comfortable! Talk about meaningless nonsense! Now you're one of us! Now we approve! Sit around with us and we'll teach you all about The Welfare!"
A Self-made Man's ambition for knowledge, his pioneering spirit and his desire to live well is limitless and he will continue to expand it, never giving credence to the idea that enough is enough, as so many lethargic souls attempt to convince him of. They hem and haw about impossibilities and back projects only after they are a proven success, still looking with the stupefied awe of witnessing a miracle, no step closer and no more willing to adhere to a disciplined rationale. As the living product of their own advice, they chase their tails so much it's surprising they're not in better shape. Far be it for them to ask the successful how to be successful, but when their approach contradicts a means you know to be more efficient, you can expect to hear, "Can't you be supportive? I'm trying." I've seen trying. Trying looks more like a salad. At a certain level, you can relax and have fun with the banter. They have no chance of luring us into passivity any longer, so why not?
In our final installment, we'll discuss the most frightening topic for irrational parents: setting a bad example.
Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer
Imposing Their Future.
In contradiction to parents who try to force children down a certain path, individual purpose must be a product of cognition, if it is to sustain the spiritual health of the entity to choose it. Even if the choice is wrong, the individual learns the process of selecting self-generated interests, which has countless daily and lifelong applications. It shows him how to value. When a rational man is wrong, his thought process retains the format for discovering the correct answer. Wired to never being wrong, it is the Fear-driven's skewed, incomplete perception which has buried the format for this discovery, and destruction becomes the product of their cognition.
No two human beings will agree on the course each other's lives should take in regard to private interests, nor need they agree. In tolerating another's opinion on this subject, we end up with the sense that they entered our inner sanctuary and never wiped their feet, or that our sanctuary is where they chose to wipe them. The feeling is inevitable in any field of specialization when we attempt to make consultation a cognitive element, or when it is forced on us. There is no sincerity in violating cognition to make this choice for another, be they friends, children or spouse.
Individual purpose is a key variable in the equation of life—different for everyone. It cannot be chosen by another. Only we know our location on an epistemological map. No matter what others think is good for us, they are in a different place, and no override of our consciousness can bring us to their location. Our central purpose and life structure must be our own unforced conclusion.
False Encouragement.
Often people believe a child's esteem must be reinforced—one reason why kids prefer to watch dad do something productive versus suffering as the fishbowl between fawning Aunts. Children must learn that a joyful state is a natural reward, and that it does not stop with adolescence, but is theirs to earn and deserve for all time. What they often learn instead, is that enjoyment is causeless and that their elders are phonies. Children don't want to remain children; they want to be adults. It is the purposeful action of adults that piques their curiosity—a mystery outside their present range. The true intention of Spirit Murdering adults can be confirmed in that future success is considered a betrayal, as their shallow malice follows this mindless demeanor.
I've been badgered all my life by the second-guessing of the Fear-driven, which such losers consider "encouragement,a larger percentage of people would be successful at it.." What was their contribution? They blurt out, "What happens if you fail?" I'll try again. Or, "You know, not everything works out as you'd like." Which is why I stay limber in my approach. Or "If you fail, we will still love you,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots." But if I succeed? Don't worry, securing your charity is no concern of mine. This is what they call wisdom. Their theme in life and their God, is failure. That last statement is most alarming. What spurs contemplation of withdrawing their love in the first place? The answer is the threat of accomplishment. No book on success talks like that. "Why don't you scale back?" Why should I? "Why don't you quit while you're ahead?" Because I'm not a coward. "Now is not the time to be taking chances." When is? Why don't you consider what a risk you're taking?" My risk is calculated. Why do you want it so bad?" Because I'm still alive. "How can you be thinking of this when the world is falling apart?" Because it isn't. "It's too soon!", "It's too late!", "You're too old,Declutter with the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys by Jane Alais!", "You're too young!" Nonsense, but so what? "No one has ever done it before!" Why do you think I'm doing it? "Pioneers are the ones with all the arrows in their backs." So stop shooting them. To interpose the idea of failure at such a critical point of dreams is so monstrously destructive, I almost can't fathom the motive, for the same reason I don't go around tipping garbage can lids. They are fools—all of them, prepared only to break you down and salt your wounds, which is all that popular morality has taught them to do. If you make it, you'll hear the snide remarks from the same people,Some Spiritual Laws Of Life by Michelle Mayur, "When is enough, enough?" When I'm dead. "Why can't you leave good enough alone?" Because it can be better. "Have you thought of what others need?" No. "You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?" I'm considerate to those who are considerate of me. "You think you're so good, don't you?" I have nothing but life-furthering attributes; why shouldn't I? If you ask what they would change about you, it always amounts to removing the same key virtues: strength, clarity and discipline. Permit their counsel and they'd say, "That's not the way to run a human being!" Then they'd knock a few holes in you to release all the energy—to waste it, saying "Loosen up! Slouch! Get comfortable! Talk about meaningless nonsense! Now you're one of us! Now we approve! Sit around with us and we'll teach you all about The Welfare!"
A Self-made Man's ambition for knowledge, his pioneering spirit and his desire to live well is limitless and he will continue to expand it, never giving credence to the idea that enough is enough, as so many lethargic souls attempt to convince him of. They hem and haw about impossibilities and back projects only after they are a proven success, still looking with the stupefied awe of witnessing a miracle, no step closer and no more willing to adhere to a disciplined rationale. As the living product of their own advice, they chase their tails so much it's surprising they're not in better shape. Far be it for them to ask the successful how to be successful, but when their approach contradicts a means you know to be more efficient, you can expect to hear, "Can't you be supportive? I'm trying." I've seen trying. Trying looks more like a salad. At a certain level, you can relax and have fun with the banter. They have no chance of luring us into passivity any longer, so why not?
In our final installment, we'll discuss the most frightening topic for irrational parents: setting a bad example.
Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer
Friday, November 2, 2012
Return home a different route than usual.
Discovering Yourself At Midlife
You may be thinking there's nothing really to discover about you. Here you are with years of experience,if you want a better marriage, a mature adult with fairly fixed habits and a routine for living life. You may say "of course, I know myself, I know all there is to know about me!
Yet sometime, don't you yearn to be adventurous and discover new aspects of yourself like you did as a teen-ager, or to be called "young at heart"? I love the statement Doris uses to describe her husband Mike, "he is just a big kid." She follows that with "but if he ever grows up, that's it!"
As you get older it becomes more and more critical that you maintain an aura or spirit of playfulness in your life. Part of that playfulness is welcoming and creating change in your life. It is literally what keeps you young. Whether you realize it or not, all of us are in a state of becoming. You'll never reach the point of being a finished product,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
When you realize that you are always changing and always becoming, it makes sense to have something you call "having a team meeting with myself." Find out what is really important to you, yet is still left undone. When you get this information you can use it to give yourself a whole new level of control and ability in directing the changes in your life.
To get this information can be a challenge. Like most of us you have spent most of your adult life in a state of compliance. You felt you had to satisfy the criteria for education, doing what ever high school, college, or university required of you for graduation. Then you entered the work force and complied with the requirements of your career in order to support your family and yourself. There are many aspects of you that can be described using words such as perseverance, discipline and responsibility. I ask you though, do these words really describe you or do they describe more your reaction to what you feel you had to do to be accepted in the adult world?
There may be a whole new set of adjectives that could be used to describe you if you felt you were free to explore new facets of yourself. Adjectives like adventurous, spontaneous and creative might fit now when there is less pressure and need to conform to external pressures.
Doing some self discovery doesn't have to be a response to a midlife crisis, but an opportunity to express more of yourself than what you have in your past. Now is the time to look to look at what retirement means to you. Maybe there are new paths, rather than the traditional retirement for you to follow that would give you greater satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
For instance, when was the last time you pondered what you wanted to do in life, like you did at the age of 10 when someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Imagine feeling like you did at the age of 15 or 16 in high school where there seemed to be to be so many possibilities that it was hard to focus sufficiently to make a career choice.
The idea of so many alternatives may feel onerous when you recall the idea "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks." I assure you this saying has nothing to do with the "old dog" being able to learn. It does address how much desire the "old dog" has to learn!
If you are in normal mental-health there's nothing that blocks your ability to learn, however there is the inertia to deal with. You know the physics principle - an object has a tendency to remain in its current state either at rest or in motion. Applying this principle means that you naturally resist change. You have a tendency to continue doing the things you usually do. Your behavior remains relatively constant and your habits carry you through a lot of your day.
This gives you considerable efficiency but remember you're not a machine and efficiency is not necessarily your goal. As a human being you were created with a natural inclination and purpose to grow and expand your awareness.
So what do you need to do to overcome this inertia and allow your desire to push you into action? Here are some points to consider:
You are considering changes because you want to expand your life. Change does not have to suggest there is something wrong with you or that you are flawed or deficient! Feeling you are correcting negative aspects of self will cause you to restrict yourself and to feel disempowered. What you want is to feel an expansion in your energy and an expansion of yourself.
Dwell on what you feel are your positive traits that can always be expanded on.
You can only do one thing at a time, so if you are focused on your positive traits your perceived negative traits will not have an opportunity to be expressed.
You are always in a state of becoming, regardless of your age you are not a finished product, so rekindle the sense of adventure.
Every discoverer has to have a sense of adventure, so you need to look at ways that allow you to open your mind to new areas of excitement and growth. To do this it's necessary to develop a different mindset, and the best way to do that is to change some of your routines and do things slightly differently. Some simple aids in doing this are:
Return home a different route than usual.
Put your pants or slacks on with a different foot first.
The next meal you have out in a restaurant choose something different from the menu that you haven't had before, or if you eat out frequently, every third meal try out a new entrée.
Once a week, chose a different source for your news so that you get another view of the world.
If you dress conservatively, wear more dramatic clothing or conversely dress conservatively if you are accustomed to wearing clothes that shout for attention.
If usually you read fiction, try a history, self help, or a biography to read. Similarly, try the opposite if you seldom read fiction.
When eating at home sit at a different place at the table for a week.
Do something, once a week for the next month, just for the fun of it, where there is no rational supportive reason for doing it.
For the next month, spend at least 15 minutes doing quiet reflection, where you talk to no one and there is no radio or TV.
During one of your times of reflection imagine yourself in high school and choosing a different vocational path than the one your chose.
The whole point of this is to help you loosen up, to stay in a flexible place about change. Make the above exercises fun and don't take them serious as if they were work. Play with them.
The outcome of these exercises could be that you find new interests or some that you have suppressed. They now want your attention to continue the wondrous process of becoming.
You could feel some dissatisfaction with your work. You may feel you can hardly wait until you retire. These feelings can mean that you're missing something and there are talents in another area that you will find very satisfying to express.
To get some help in discovering what these talents might be,no salt, check out vocational testing, interest inventories or aptitude testing on the Web or through career counselors at colleges in your area.
Several sites on the Web offer free quizzes and questionnaires that can provide new insights to your interests. It is a similar process to what many students do in their high school years. Use it now in your mature years. Paraphrasing Shaw's statement "Youth is so precious it is a shame to waste it on the young". Take some of the attributes and opportunities from your youth and use them now in your midlife.
Don't let your age restrict you from trying something different and being considered foolish. There is no time in your life where outside pressures and opinion can be given less heed than in your midlife. You are established now with a track record and you have probably never been in a stronger position enabling you to risk outsiders' questions.
You have never been so qualified in terms of skills and experience to take corrective action in case you do make a mistake. Also,3. Spontaneous laughter, you have probably learned making a mistake is not really a mistake, but only part of learning, so let's up the learning curve. Although I deplored it in my youth, my father's advice to me is very valid in this situation, "you can never learn any younger".
Now with your focus shifting to the direction you would like your life to take, there is no thought that you are experiencing a midlife or later life crisis. Instead there is the feeling you are embarking on a new adventure with all its excitement. This leads to renewed enthusiasm about this point in your life.
The new attitude leads you to discover many new aspects of yourself and helps you realize that the alternatives and choices are many. Rather than winding down, life now appears to be picking up in tempo. You are in a new phase of life that you welcome. This all can happen if you're willing to allow yourself a period of self-discovery.
You may be thinking there's nothing really to discover about you. Here you are with years of experience,if you want a better marriage, a mature adult with fairly fixed habits and a routine for living life. You may say "of course, I know myself, I know all there is to know about me!
Yet sometime, don't you yearn to be adventurous and discover new aspects of yourself like you did as a teen-ager, or to be called "young at heart"? I love the statement Doris uses to describe her husband Mike, "he is just a big kid." She follows that with "but if he ever grows up, that's it!"
As you get older it becomes more and more critical that you maintain an aura or spirit of playfulness in your life. Part of that playfulness is welcoming and creating change in your life. It is literally what keeps you young. Whether you realize it or not, all of us are in a state of becoming. You'll never reach the point of being a finished product,5879 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
When you realize that you are always changing and always becoming, it makes sense to have something you call "having a team meeting with myself." Find out what is really important to you, yet is still left undone. When you get this information you can use it to give yourself a whole new level of control and ability in directing the changes in your life.
To get this information can be a challenge. Like most of us you have spent most of your adult life in a state of compliance. You felt you had to satisfy the criteria for education, doing what ever high school, college, or university required of you for graduation. Then you entered the work force and complied with the requirements of your career in order to support your family and yourself. There are many aspects of you that can be described using words such as perseverance, discipline and responsibility. I ask you though, do these words really describe you or do they describe more your reaction to what you feel you had to do to be accepted in the adult world?
There may be a whole new set of adjectives that could be used to describe you if you felt you were free to explore new facets of yourself. Adjectives like adventurous, spontaneous and creative might fit now when there is less pressure and need to conform to external pressures.
Doing some self discovery doesn't have to be a response to a midlife crisis, but an opportunity to express more of yourself than what you have in your past. Now is the time to look to look at what retirement means to you. Maybe there are new paths, rather than the traditional retirement for you to follow that would give you greater satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
For instance, when was the last time you pondered what you wanted to do in life, like you did at the age of 10 when someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Imagine feeling like you did at the age of 15 or 16 in high school where there seemed to be to be so many possibilities that it was hard to focus sufficiently to make a career choice.
The idea of so many alternatives may feel onerous when you recall the idea "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks." I assure you this saying has nothing to do with the "old dog" being able to learn. It does address how much desire the "old dog" has to learn!
If you are in normal mental-health there's nothing that blocks your ability to learn, however there is the inertia to deal with. You know the physics principle - an object has a tendency to remain in its current state either at rest or in motion. Applying this principle means that you naturally resist change. You have a tendency to continue doing the things you usually do. Your behavior remains relatively constant and your habits carry you through a lot of your day.
This gives you considerable efficiency but remember you're not a machine and efficiency is not necessarily your goal. As a human being you were created with a natural inclination and purpose to grow and expand your awareness.
So what do you need to do to overcome this inertia and allow your desire to push you into action? Here are some points to consider:
You are considering changes because you want to expand your life. Change does not have to suggest there is something wrong with you or that you are flawed or deficient! Feeling you are correcting negative aspects of self will cause you to restrict yourself and to feel disempowered. What you want is to feel an expansion in your energy and an expansion of yourself.
Dwell on what you feel are your positive traits that can always be expanded on.
You can only do one thing at a time, so if you are focused on your positive traits your perceived negative traits will not have an opportunity to be expressed.
You are always in a state of becoming, regardless of your age you are not a finished product, so rekindle the sense of adventure.
Every discoverer has to have a sense of adventure, so you need to look at ways that allow you to open your mind to new areas of excitement and growth. To do this it's necessary to develop a different mindset, and the best way to do that is to change some of your routines and do things slightly differently. Some simple aids in doing this are:
Return home a different route than usual.
Put your pants or slacks on with a different foot first.
The next meal you have out in a restaurant choose something different from the menu that you haven't had before, or if you eat out frequently, every third meal try out a new entrée.
Once a week, chose a different source for your news so that you get another view of the world.
If you dress conservatively, wear more dramatic clothing or conversely dress conservatively if you are accustomed to wearing clothes that shout for attention.
If usually you read fiction, try a history, self help, or a biography to read. Similarly, try the opposite if you seldom read fiction.
When eating at home sit at a different place at the table for a week.
Do something, once a week for the next month, just for the fun of it, where there is no rational supportive reason for doing it.
For the next month, spend at least 15 minutes doing quiet reflection, where you talk to no one and there is no radio or TV.
During one of your times of reflection imagine yourself in high school and choosing a different vocational path than the one your chose.
The whole point of this is to help you loosen up, to stay in a flexible place about change. Make the above exercises fun and don't take them serious as if they were work. Play with them.
The outcome of these exercises could be that you find new interests or some that you have suppressed. They now want your attention to continue the wondrous process of becoming.
You could feel some dissatisfaction with your work. You may feel you can hardly wait until you retire. These feelings can mean that you're missing something and there are talents in another area that you will find very satisfying to express.
To get some help in discovering what these talents might be,no salt, check out vocational testing, interest inventories or aptitude testing on the Web or through career counselors at colleges in your area.
Several sites on the Web offer free quizzes and questionnaires that can provide new insights to your interests. It is a similar process to what many students do in their high school years. Use it now in your mature years. Paraphrasing Shaw's statement "Youth is so precious it is a shame to waste it on the young". Take some of the attributes and opportunities from your youth and use them now in your midlife.
Don't let your age restrict you from trying something different and being considered foolish. There is no time in your life where outside pressures and opinion can be given less heed than in your midlife. You are established now with a track record and you have probably never been in a stronger position enabling you to risk outsiders' questions.
You have never been so qualified in terms of skills and experience to take corrective action in case you do make a mistake. Also,3. Spontaneous laughter, you have probably learned making a mistake is not really a mistake, but only part of learning, so let's up the learning curve. Although I deplored it in my youth, my father's advice to me is very valid in this situation, "you can never learn any younger".
Now with your focus shifting to the direction you would like your life to take, there is no thought that you are experiencing a midlife or later life crisis. Instead there is the feeling you are embarking on a new adventure with all its excitement. This leads to renewed enthusiasm about this point in your life.
The new attitude leads you to discover many new aspects of yourself and helps you realize that the alternatives and choices are many. Rather than winding down, life now appears to be picking up in tempo. You are in a new phase of life that you welcome. This all can happen if you're willing to allow yourself a period of self-discovery.
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